Nightmares
by Search4thetrurth
Summary: JackAudrey. Jack has nightmares about his time in China. Does mention torture, but it's not too graphic.
1. Chapter 1

Jack didn't know where he was. It was dark, smelled like feces, was incredible small, and it was cold. Then he recognized the place. It was his prison cell. 'But how?' he thought to himself. CTU had rescued him over 5 years ago, so how was he back here? As he tried to get his bearings, he found that his hands and feet had chains on them. Then a horrible thought came to his mind. They caught him again. Was he with Audrey? He couldn't remember. 'Oh god no, please god no, don't let them have her, oh god' were his only thoughts for some time. Then he heard a voice.

"Hello Mister Bauer. So good to see you again. It was very nice of you to bring a friend, and such a pretty one at that," said the voice, with a heavy Chinese accent.

"What did you do to her? Let her go, it's me that you want, not her! She has nothing to do with this! God, please just let her go! Do what you want to me, just let her go!" Jack pleaded with the man, but by the time he had finished, he saw it was to no avail.

"Come Mister Bauer" The man pulled at a chain around Jack's feet, causing him to be pulled out of the cell feet first. Only when he was standing upright did Jack realize that he was striped of all of his clothes.

Two men, also Chinese, and heavily built, came up on either side of him, each grabbing one of his arms to ensure that he could not flee.

They walked for some distance, until they reached a room, and paused out side the door. The man turned around a looked at Jack. "I'm sure you remember this room Mister Bauer." Jack did. It was the room where the tortured him, for hours upon hours. So many times in there, he had begged them to just kill him, but they always just continued his torture. A shiver ran down his spine as the lock on the door turned, and the door creaked open. He saw the hook, hanging from the ceiling, where they had hung him from while they tortured him. He had a feeling that they might put him up there again.

"Where's Audrey!" Jack demanded

"She is here, with us, with some of my men. Such a shame. She's such a pretty girl, you know, and my men haven't seen a pretty girl like her in a long time. They might want to have some fun with her..."

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER! SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! JUST LET HER GO!"

Jack prayed that they wouldn't hurt her. She wasn't meant to be here. It was all his fault. He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if they hurt her. Jack knew that the man was right. Even if her guards were told not to touch her, they might, and if they hadn't gotten any in a little while, they might even rape her. Jack felt nauseous at the thought of that.

The man turned to the two strong-arms, and said something in what sounded like Cantonese. Jack didn't know the language, but was almost sure of the meaning. As the two men started walking towards him, he was sure of it. They picked him up and placed the slack in the chains on his hand up in the hook. Then one of the men walked over to the wall, and used some device to pull the hook up so his feet were just a few inches off the ground. The man said some more things in Cantonese, and a covered table, with what Jack could only imagine was some instreuments was brougnt in, accompnaied by some clear and colored liqiuds. When the sheet was taken off the table, he saw about 5 scapels, and other types of knives, a tazer, and something that he couldn't give a name, but guessed it was for burning flesh.

The man now walked over to Jack, and held one of the scalpels up to his face. "You must understand Mister Bauer, what you did is not easily forgivable, or forgettable, and that's why this is happening. It only angers China more that you tried to hid from us, that you thought that you could get away with what you did, and that you thought that if the Untied States saved you, that we wouldn't try to capture you again." With that, the man took that scalpel, and cut jack right at the 'V' of his pelvis, on that very thin, sensitive, patch of skin. Jack's head reared back in pain as the acid on the end of the blade met with his flesh.

The torture went on for what seemed like hours, with various instruments and technique used, until Jack was given a few minutes rest so they didn't accidentally kill him. One of the men removed the gag.

"Who the hell are you?" Jack asked, as he spit blood out of his mouth.

"Who I am, is no concern to you, but you may call me Tao."

"Fine, where is Audrey, Tao?"

"I have already told you, she is here"

"I want to see her"

Jack knew that they wanted things from the US Government: names of foreign agents, and their locations, classified information. information that couldn't get from a normal informant. Jack also knew that maybe he could find them a way to escape, but only if they would let him go see her, and that would mean he might have to pretend to go along with them.

"If you let me see her, I may be able to give you some information, information that your country could use."

"Like What?"

"Foreign operatives, their names and places, within your country, what there working on. Top secret American plans. Things like that. But only if you let me see her."

"Fine"

He motioned to one of he strong-arms. "Please get Mister Bauer down."

In a few minutes, Jack was on his feet again.

"Can I please have some clothes?"

"Fine" One of the men walked out of the room, and then came back in with some clothes. Jack quickly put them on.

Tao opened the door, and the two men took their place at Jack's side, each with a strong grip on his arm. They walked some distance through the corridors of the prison. Occasionally you could here the scream of another prisoner echo off the walls, which were painted a dark gray color, and the florescent light that lit the prison flickered as they walked down the halls. Then the four men stopped at a door near the end of the hallway they were in. Tao took a key out of his pocket, and used it to open the door. The door led to another hallway. When they reached the third door in that hallway, Tao opened another door, which led to a room.

The room was like a CTU holding room. It was huge compared to his cell. Audrey was sitting in a corner on a metal chair. Her hands were bound behind her back, and her legs were tied to those of the chair, and there was a gag in her mouth. Jack could see it in her eyes that she was scared for her life, and for his, but she was unharmed, which made relief rush through his veins. The strong-arms released him. He turned to Tao.

"Give me some time alone with her."

"My men will stay in the room. They will just stay on the other side of it."

"Fine, untie and un-gag her" Jack said to the two men, who, then looking at Tao, got approval, and quickly did so.

The two men when to the far side of the room, as Jack walked toward Audrey. When the met, he took her in to a tight embrace. She pulled back her head and kissed him.

"Did they hurt you?" Jack asked her.

"No, they just tied me up and left me in here"

"Good, thank god." Tears welled up in his eyes. "I didn't know what happened, and I thought that they might...God I love you so much, I thought you might be..."

"I love you too Jack, and they didn't. I'm fine, really. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine"

"Jack, you're not fine, you look like hell, and you bleeding !"

Jack pulled her in to another embrace and whispered in her ear: "Audrey, I need you to listen very carefully..." He told her his plan for their escape. When he was finished he let her go, and walked towards the two men on the other side in the room. He quickly killed both of them, and took their guns. He checked both the guns and found that they were loaded. He kept searching their persons to see if he could find anything else. He found a few cartriges, and a set of keys. He tossed one of the guns to Audrey.

The two quickly exited the room, running down the halls. Suddenly, an alarm went off. Jack and Audrey broke into a run. He found the door that they had come through, found the right key, and opend that door, and locked it behind him. They ran for what seemed like a long time, until they found another hallway. They opened the door and turned into it. They ran down this hallway until they reached a corner and stopped short when they heard footsteps. Jack peered around to see about 40 armed guards coming their way.

Jack and Audrey tore down the hall until they found some place to hide, but soon their hiding place was compromised by the guards. Jack and Audrey quickly got up and ran, but where spotted by the guards. They ran around a corner, with the guard's bullets, barely missing them. Just as they were about to turn a corner, Audrey moaned in pain, and fell down. Jack picked her up and pulled her around a corner, and found a room, and pulled the two of them in side.

He looked her over. She was bleeding badly, so much so, that her clothes were all ready soaked with it.

"Audrey, baby?"

She didn't respond. Jack cradled her head, calling out her name. She still didn't respond. He tried to find a pulse but couldn't. Now he was covered with her blood.

"God no, Audie, please wake up baby, please, I need you... please" Jack started to cry, he had lost the only two women that he loved He held her body close to him, waiting for the guards to find him

The guards broke open the door, and stood there with their guns aimed at him.

Jack jolted up out of his bed. He ran to the bathroom in the apartment and vomited, with the image of Audrey dead in his arms, her blood all over him, still in his head. When he was finished he sat down next to the toilet and started to cry, tears running down his face, sobs over taking his body. The dream scared the shit out of him. He knew that it could happen, especially now that they were a real couple that lived together, and was visible in public. He couldn't live with himself if anything happened to her. He just couldn't. Even more so, if he was the cause of it. He loved her so much. She was his life, with out her, he would surely die. He needed her, and the thought of her not being in his life was one that scared him. There were times when they would fight, and he would just stop, because he knew that there was a chance that he could lose her. He would do anything to ensure her safety, even go back to china. The tears running down his face slowly stopped, and he walked back to his bed and sat down.

He looked at the clock; it was about 4:30. He wished Audrey was here. He wanted to see her, and hear her, and hold her, just to ensure him self that it was all a dream, and that she still was alive. She had to go to D.C. to visit her Dad. It was about 7:30 there. He wanted to call her, but he decided not to. She hadn't seen her dad in a long time, since she had been taking care of him. If he told her he had had another night mare, she would come home, and she had really wanted to go. He wouldn't do that to her.

He had had night mares like this before, so one of his doctor had given him sleeping pills to help him go back to sleep, and keep the dreams away. He took two out of the bottle. He looked at the side; it said "alcohol may increase the effects of this product". 'Good" he thought. He walked out into the kitchen, and got out his bottle of J&B. he poured him self a glass and took the pills. He felt the drink go down his throat and warm it as the liquid flowed down. He washed out the glass and laid back down in his bed. He pulled the covers up to his chin and rolled on to his side. Soon the pills took affect, and so did the J&B, and he felt lightheaded. His eyes closed, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jack, Jack, wake up!" Audrey said, as Jack was tossing and turning in their bed. "It's just a nightmare, Jack wake up!" She held down his shoulders to stop him from hurting himself.

"Stop, I don't know what you're talking about! I don't have a clearance for that kind of information! Please, god, I don't know! I don't. You have to believe me!" Jack yelled. Audrey knew what was happening. He was having another nightmare about his time in China. He had had them ever since he had gotten back. They were usually about his being tortured.

"Jack, baby, it's just a nightmare, you have to wake up" Audrey tried, hoping to coax him out of the dream.

"Please, no, oh god no, no that... I'll do anything, please no...I told you I DON'T KNOW!"

He started breathing heavily thrashing more violently now, as if trying to get away from an attacker. He started to scream, as if in pain, and Audrey felt his muscles tense under her grip. Audrey got on top of him, grabbed his shoulders, and started shaking him. "Jack, Jack, wake up Jack!" She pleaded.

Jack's eyes opened suddenly. He threw Audrey off of him, and raced to the bathroom, quickly locking the door behind him, and ran to the toilet. He pulled up the lid and vomited. Audrey got out of the bed and knocked on the door when she heard Jack getting sick

"Jack, baby, are you okay?"

"I'm fine" he said shortly.

"Jack..." Audrey started

"Damn it Audrey, I just need a minute"

At that Audrey walked away and sat on the bed. She was worried about him. He had never talked to her about what had happened to him in China, and the only time he had talked about it was when he was debriefed by Division, and when ever she would try to get him to talk about it, he would either get mad at her, and tell her to leave it alone, or change the subject. She knew it had to be unhealthy not to talk about it, but she could never get him to open up. Maybe he though that she wouldn't love him after she heard, or that she would be so repulsed that she would leave him. But she could never do any of those things. She had lost him twice, and wasn't going to lose him a third time. She just wanted him to be happy. To be able to live the most normal life he could, with out nightmares, or being kidnapped, or tortured, or any of the things that he had gone through. She stared at the door. He always did this to her, shut her out, weather it was with a door, or with his actions, he just never let her in. He had done that before China, but not like he did now. Before he just wanted to be strong, or at least seem so, so she could have a shoulder to cry on, but if something was really bothering him, he would at least talk about it a little, but now, she really couldn't get any where with him.

Jack waited until his stomach was done convulsing to get up and turn on the faucet in the bathtub. He sat down on the rim of the tub. He cupped some of the cold water in his hands, and rinsed out his mouth. He then sat down on the floor, just listening to the water run.

He hated having to push her out of his life like this. He just didn't want her to know what that they had done to him. He wanted to tell her, he did, it was just, he couldn't. He was scared that if he told her, she would worry about him more, and he didn't want that. He didn't want anyone worrying about him. She had already spent the last few years getting him where he was today, to being an almost fully functional human being. If she knew what he went through, she would waste more of her time worrying about him, and he didn't want that. He wanted her to have a life, not have hers revolve around him. He wanted her to go out and live. But he had to tell her, he just had to. He couldn't keep it inside anymore. He tried to make it go away on his own, but he just couldn't. He ran a hand thought his sandy blond hair, and got up.

He walked out the door and sat down on the bed next to Audrey.

"I'm sorry" he said, shame filling in his eyes.

"Don't be. Jack, I love you"

"I just..., it's..., I don't want to do this to you, to shut you out like this, I really don't. It's just that, some days I still hope that it was all just a really bad dream, you know, that it never happened, and maybe telling you makes it all more real." A tear rolled down his face. "And I just don't want it to be real."

Tears started running down his face, and then he broke down. It seemed all those years he had spent in China were hitting him like a freight train. All the pain and lost hope, all the time he just wanted to be dead, it all hit him. He was doing everything he could to cry silently, something he had learned to do as a kid, but the sobs were coming out of him with such force, it was difficult.

He clung to Audrey, his head buried in her neck. She gently stoked his back as sobs tore through his body.

"Jack, it's all going to be okay, I promise, it's all going to turn out ok. I love you." She said trying to soothe him.

The sobs slowly started to lessen, but she still clung to her. After some time, Jack looked up at her with his blood shot eyes. Audrey couldn't help but stare into his water blue eyes. He took on one of his hands and cupped her face with it.

"I love you so much, you have no idea"

He leaned in and kissed her gently, almost as if to back up what he had just said.

He looked at her for awhile, and then told her what had happened to him in China. How he had been tortured for information that he could never have known, how he had been burned, raped, cut, beaten and many other things. How he had been given very little food, and when he did it had bugs in it, and how he usually had gone with out it for days. He also told her how he had begged to be killed.

When he was done, all she could do was look at him in awe.

"Oh god Jack...my god, I just don't know... my god"

"Yeah" he said looking down at the ground, ashamed of what he had let be done to him, and what he had wanted do to him.

"Hey" She said, pulling up his chin so she could in to his eyes. "I still love you Jack and you don't need to be ashamed or anything, ok? You did everything you could, and it's understandable that you felt that way, everyone would. I'm never going to stop loving you, no matter you do, or what happens to you. Ok?"

"Promise?"

"I promise"

Jack looked at Audrey and said "Come on baby, lets go to bed, ok?"

The two crawled back under the covers, Jack, lying on his back, and Audrey lying on his shoulder, arm splayed against his chest, with his arm wrapped around her back.

"I love you Jack"

"I love you too baby" Jack just stared at her for a while. Then he smiled and gently kissed her on the head.

"I love you more then anything Audrey, I always have, and I always will" he whispered, only to find that she was already sound asleep.


End file.
